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11 years ago
The Humpty Dumpty papers A conspiracy theory©DeAnna Paris 2000Hitler always said - The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it. It would be nice to have a deductive argument that Humpty Dumpty knew Mother Goose from self-evident premises. Unfortunately I am unable to provide one. So I will have to rest content with the following intuitive considerations in its support: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… but…several of his closest advisors, a spoon and a certain cow knew this was certain to happen.. The assumption that you are correct about Humpty Dumpty has got to be because Humpty Dumptyism is so deeply woven into American thought that any attempt to question IT, much less to disprove IT, is likely to be met with disbelief, scorn, snide comments and ridicule.But, of course, the denial of Humpty Dumpty is a deep journey, and one of profound courage, and profound insight into the fundamental nature of the Universe, of which there isn't anything familiar with the hidden brutalities of Humpty Dumptyism. I cannot imagine all the nasty things that will be said about me now, someone who dares to mount an assault on Humpty Dumpty.Soon, for sure, it will be the fodder of idle water tank talk and it has already repeatedly been alleged that my denial of Humpty Dumpty's crack at free fall is self-centered. I find this fabulously amusing. As if one bold enough to deny Humpty Dumpty's cracks would feel bound by the conventions!!!!Once I have talked you through this delusion, then we are free to discuss this nonsense of the quaint notion of Hellenic prejudices. And as to what counts as proof and disproof, while I retain a proper sense of logical rigor, the foregoing constitutes a disproof of all theories claiming Humpty Dumpty's accidentally fell. . It is my assertion that on the 4th day of August, 2009 in the rain soaked sun, at precisely 12:30 PM, Humpty Dumpty FELL off the wall and less than a half an hour later, he was pronounced dead. I assert this: Afghanistan had nothing to do with it.. ..It was obviously an inside job. True, everyone was numb with disbelief. But the numbness would show itself even more later on as a brigade of Born Agains, the government’s Snorinn Commission came up with a nice tidy conspiracy- A conspiracy theory so full of holes that it's amazing that people still continue to believe it. That people like former President Gerald Ford, Arlen Specter, Dan Rather, and the ill informed Rosie O'Donnell still proclaim terrorist operatives trained in Afghanistan not only pushed him, they caused the entire wall to fall in afterwards.So....let's take a look at theory and just let it destroy itself.The Diddle Diddle War which resulted after the event was nothing more than a war for corrupt businessmen to make huge amounts of money.Industries that are profitting from the Diddle Diddle War, including Dickery Dock and Root, Dell Farm eggs and Kentucky Fried Chicken. These and others associated with them are making millions off the war….and they all have one connection...the most obscene example of a ruthless profiteering syndicate ever known….the family of Georgie Porgie. For example,it is known that prior to the Diddle Diddle War, Georgie Porgie’s envoy sold the dastardly Eencey Weencey spider ARMS!!! Now……..When you supply a madman with arms, and then later go to p for profit.So…..they want us to believe that if we didn’t go to war, that all of the sudden the world's oil supply is at risk? –Oh, God, we don't want to piss off those rich fatcat oil barons in Texas! So...hey….terrorists pushed Humpty Dumpty off the wall! How could any of you believe such fantasy? If terroriststs had actually cared about cracking Humpty Dumpty they would have simply sent some top CIA operatives to push him off!Like terrorists would really dirty their hands with that sort of nonsense! To hear most people say terrorists pushed Humpty Dumpty off the wall and did it as a way of whipping up a favorable public opinion of themselves.Indeed.Suppose it were the case that Humpty Dumpty fell off a peg too low? It would then follow from this that someone abducted the usual peg peggers. But my opinion is, no one knows anything whatsoever.For example, most people find the claim that Humpty Dumpty was completely oblivious to therisks involved with sitting on a wall to be utterly ludicrous. And when I assert Humpty Dumpty was absolutely oblivious those very same people give me a most incredulous stare. But the fact that they find me so devious is no argument that it is false and besides, I do not know how to refute an incredulous stare. Therefore, I simply reply with a confused shrug. But important parts of proof can be found in if one looks hard enough. There are solutions to the field equations of general relativity in which space-time has the structure of a four-dimensional Jack Danials bottle and in which for that matter, there is no matter. You see, in each shot, the claim is that Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall and and just up and cracked for no reason at all. That is blatantly false.You may have read that Zabludowski has insinuated that my theory about Humpty Dumpty is false on the basis of alleged counterexample and counterintelligence.. But these so-called "counterexamples" depend on construing my theory that Humpty Dumpty fell in a way that was obviously not intended!Evidence that terrorists did not push Humpty Dumpty off the wall... * Humpty Dumpty landed on a relatively soft grassy knoll. If terrorists had pushed him, they certainly would have pushed him in the street, had I they been technically capable of such a dastardly deed.* The wall on the grassy knoll Humpty Dumpty sat on was only 2 feet tall.* Someone told the King's Horses Intelligence Group to the stand down that day - there was obviously poor observance and protection for Humpty Dumpty that fateful day.* There was a Fox News media van right next to the wall on the grassy knoll, where it could document an attempted assassination. Someone obviously had prior knowledge of the planned event.* The videotape of Humpty Dumpty as he toppled shows was Humpty Dumpty's head being thrust violently backward and to the left, which is inconsistent with a push supposedly given from behind. * The King's men were discovered only ninety seconds away, drinking Cokes calmly as Humpty Dumpty crunched to the ground.* Several witnesses stated that they encountered bird poo all over the wall. However, no birds were found in the area. One must conclude Humpty Dumpty did it, and that it was not bird poo at all.* A watchman at the railyard tower behind the wall on the grassy knoll, described strange noises coming from atop the wall on the grassy knoll where Humpty Dumpty sat and a cat with a fiddle was reported behind the wall on the knoll - dressed in a pilot’s uniform.* Photo enhancements of a photograph show clearly a cat with a fiddle dressed in a pilot’s uniform.* There is evidence the King's men conspired with the King's Horses and even acoustical evidence proving that no push was received by Humpty Dumpty. * Immediately after Humpty Dumpty fell the entire wall fell in free fall speed….and the telephone system never went out. * A third of the Humpty Dumpty's Cabinet was in the air at the time of the fall conducting disaster exercises..* There is strong evidence that Humpty Dumpty knew the old woman in the shoe before he fell and he was distraught at the large sum of child support due. * Trained Egg doctors observed Humpty Dumpty's head wounds concluding he fell on his head and that he would have to have fell on his head. But there is no proof of this. * The body of Humpty Dumpty was essentially lost for about 2 hours * Humpty Dumpty's shell has never been found. These facts are undisputed - I hope every single person will agree that there is absolutely no evidence that terrorists Humpty Dumpty off the wall. Only those who would benefit from his demise could have orchestrated such a terrible deed.Therefore, I. feel qualified to put together here my hypothesis.... Humpty Dumpty Sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty was pushed off the wall and had a great fall, and all the King's horses and all the King's men, couldn't put Humpty together again.