TOBIAS:
Ladies and gentlemen!
May I have your attention, perlese!
(Beats Drum)
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
to discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought nought to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken at ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle, marvelous, rare.
Gentleman, you are about to see something
that rose from the dead!
On the top of my head
Scarcley a month ago, gentlemen,
I was struck with a 'orrible
Oriental disease.
Though the finest physicians in London were called,
I awakened one morning amazed and appalled
To discover with dread that my head was bald
As a novice's knees.
I was dying of shame
Till a gentleman came,
An illustrious barber, Pirelli by name.
He gave me a liquid as precious as gold,
I rubbed it in daily like wot I was told,
And behold!
(Takes off cap dramatically, to reveal hair down to his shoulders.)
Less thirty days old!
Twas Pirelli's
Miracle Elixir,
That's wot did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true.
Was it quick sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!
How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny garanteed.
Crowd:(at the same time)
1st man: Penny buys a bottle, I don't know...
2nd man: You don't need...
1st man: Ah, let's go!
Tobias (to third man): Go ahead and tug, sir.
3rd man: Penny for a bottle, is it?
Tobias: Go ahead, sir, harder...
TOBIAS:(alone)
Does Pirelli's
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir,
'Tis unique.
Rub a minute
Stimulatin', i'n' it?
Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!
Penny buys a bottle, garanteed!
Company:Excuse me sir but wots dat awful stench?
Where is Perrelli go and get perreli wat about the money go and get perreli
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