late at night on christmas eve
he throws his hat upon his head
says goodnight to mrs claus
jumps into his sled
little jimmy in his bunk
fast asleep so tight
he don't know that santa's drunk
from the north pole party last night
ride on, old saint nick is on his way
ride on, he's drunk driving on his sleigh
its too late, he's lost control of the reins
oh no, now rudolf's dead and he's to blame
too much brandy in the christmas cake
mrs claus that was your mistake
santa's crashed the christmas sleigh
he's screamin' out for "help! help! heeeeelllp!"
but it's to late now
to ride on, mr claus has lost his job
ride on, now he's a homeless drunken slob
and its too late, now he's eating from the trash
oh no, it's getting stuck in his mustache
now let's hear from the man himself, Santa Claus, tell us your story...
"oh no, its all gone bad
everything's turned mighty sad
all those good things that i had
dissapeared quicker than the latest fad
used to cross the world in a single bound
i could climb down your chimney without making a sound
i did all for the milk and the cookie
sneak in the bedroom to have a quick lookie
i used to make every kid smile
yeah everything was great for a while
but now i'm just sad old news
and rudolf, this one's for you
they try to make me go to rehab and i say, ho ho ho
they try to make me go to rehab and i say, ho ho ho
they try to make me go to rehab and i say, ho ho ho
they try to make me go to rehab and i say, ho ho ho!!!!
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